Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
