We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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