I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
