OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
