For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
foreskin is a definite game changer
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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