i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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