Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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