Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
