I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
