Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
We named our party play list daddy issues
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The uberlube is also flammable
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
