We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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