Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Are my feet made of real feet?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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