I look better un-naked...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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