we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
