I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
