ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
