did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
