Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
