I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
