i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize