What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
