Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
