i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
