I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
