After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
