I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
