Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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