i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
