Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
