Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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