508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
