I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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