Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
