She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
