On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
