what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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