i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
