exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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