i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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