just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
