I'm drive I can fine osifer
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
