Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Randomize