Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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