well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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