You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
