Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
