That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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