I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
