do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
