I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
