Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize