he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
