Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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