I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
