You can't motorboat a personality
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
