You can't motorboat a personality
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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