thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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