Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
