what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
