If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Randomize
