shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize