Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
