I hate your face
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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