Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
