Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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